


keep this world safe

by elsewherewolf



Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Sadness, depends on how you read it as to how vague the potential is, vague suggestions of potential incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-12
Updated: 2014-01-12
Packaged: 2018-01-08 11:55:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1132346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elsewherewolf/pseuds/elsewherewolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>sheplooslash asked for Herc walking in on Chuck crying. Angst inevitably ensued. Scene between Herc getting injured and the hallway goodbye scene. >.></p>
            </blockquote>





	keep this world safe

Something's wrong. Herc knows it the second he sets foot inside his room. Maybe he knew before that, a kind of dull hurt pressing at the backs of his eyes, but that low-level ache is always there after a drop. Remnants of the drift, flashes of thought too fleeting to be fully caught so it's like water slipping through his fingers.

But now, now the feeling is more focused, palpable, and Herc blinks, closing the door behind him. 

"Chuck?"

"Don't say anything." Chuck's voice is hoarse and wet, and Herc almost doesn't want to go any further, doesn't want to see his boy like this.

"I'm not going to." Then, quieter, "I don't mind." _You can be here, you can cry and I won't think any less of you._

"Where're you going?" 

Herc looks over then, sees his son curled into the wall, looking at Max who's leaning heavily into Chuck's leg. His eyes are red, his fist a tight knit of knuckles and flesh that's gone white.

"I need to wash, at least. Why?"

Chuck thumps his fist against the wall, softly, and Herc notices the shadow of bruises across his fingers. 

"Look, just- Don't go anywhere, alright? I'll be five minutes."

Herc heads into the bathroom, hearing Chuck try to call him back but failing. He stands in front of the mirror, realizing that he too looks like shit - pale from the painkillers, his eyes too dull. He watches Chuck come in behind him and says nothing when he's nudged gently to one side. Chuck runs some hot water into the basin and picks up a washcloth and all Herc can do is stand there and let Chuck carefully take off his shirt and wash the sweat and dirt and guilt away. 

"It was supposed to be both of us," Chuck says, not looking at him.

"I know."

"So now it's not, maybe the op'll change, maybe-"

"It won't. Stacker'll think of something."

Chuck rinses the cloth off again, nodding. Lifts it back to wash Herc's neck, down and over his shoulder. "We should have tried it a long time ago. When there were more of us."

"I know." Herc closes his eyes, concentrates on the pressure of the cloth, the wet of it now coming down his chest. Chuck's asking him for something he can't give, and he knows that they both know it.

"How can I go with anyone else? How do I _drift_ with anyone else?"

"I can't answer that, son." Herc opens his eyes to their reflections, looks at Chuck looking at him and wonders why he doesn't just say fuck the lot of them and take his son and their dog far, far away from this place and all of its demands on them.

"Will you enjoy the world if we manage to save it?" Chuck asks, sounding so thoroughly broken that Herc wants to tell him screw the arm, he'll manage and they'll go together just like they'd planned on.

"Don't. Don't talk like that."

"Oh, come on dad. You and I both know that this is a journey down shit creek without a paddle in sight. Just promise me you'll be alright."

Something that's half sob half laugh comes up Herc's throat, bitter as bile. He shakes his head, reaching to put his hand into Chuck's hair, pull his boy closer, in against his damp skin. He feels the resignation in the loose set of Chuck's shoulders, kisses the boy's hair and lets him cry. _You come back to me, kid, and I'll be fine._

"I promise I'll try."

+

Chuck's suited up, looking every bit the soldier that he's always been, except for his eyes. They're the colour of regret, of a scared kid about to lose the only family he has left. Herc tries - fuck, he tries - to say what he needs to say. It comes out sideways, but it's all that he's got left to give. 

"My son," he says again, and what he means is _my world. You want to save the world, send him back to me in one piece._


End file.
